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Top 5 Hangover Cures

Posted December 10, 2012 by - Michael DeVito in Pretty Marinated
Pete Dog NedHardy.com

The holiday party season is upon us.  That magical time of year when you drink too much, projectile vomit your dignity into a mesh trash can, then get wheeled out on a flatbed handtruck from Purchasing.

Saying you feel like hammered shit the next day doesn’t begin to describe it.  You feel the way Mickey Rourke’s face looks and your breath smells like the taint of someone who’s been jogging in leather pants.  What you need is hangover food, and we’ve got the best options for banishing the demons:

Starting the list is a Columbia Heights favorite.  Taqueria Distrito Federal has a lot to offer the afflicted, but the height of the Heights is the chilaquiles de carne asada.  This traditional Mexican breakfast is grilled steak, onions, cheese, cream and a special sauce, all served on a bed of fried tortillas.  Black beans round out a gran desayuno.  To be safe, add eggs to the mix for only $2.  3463 14th Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.276.7331

The best food holiday is not Thanksgiving. It’s the day after when you take all of the leftovers, stuff them between two slices of bread and stretch the definition of “sandwich.”  That special hangover solution exists but one day a year.  The rest of the time, check out Earl’s Sandwiches in Clarendon.  The Turkey and Sweet Potato Fries sandwich ($8.99) is exactly as advertised.  Roasted turkey, sweet potato fries (crammed inside the sandwich!) and turkey gravy on ciabatta bread.  Get it, and get your head right.  4215 N. Fairfax Drive, Arlington, VA. 703.647.9191

Five Guys.  Don’t over think it..

Spicy. Grilled. Squid.  Hear me out on this one.  Sweating and replenishing fluids can go a long way towards being right as rain again.  What better way to do it than with a hot Korean classic?  The o jing uh bokum ($10.95) at Adam Express in Mount Pleasant is a heaping helping of squid stir-fried with vegetables.  The core of this fiery taste explosion is gochujang, a fermented red chili paste.  A side of white rice will help to dilute the heat a bit, but you don’t want that.  Pain is your way out.  3211 Mount Pleasant Street NW Washington, DC. 202.328.0010

You can find heaven between bread at Fast Gourmet.  The Chivito ($13) and I are friends with benefits.  This gas station sandwich is appropriate when you’ve been guzzling gas.  Chivito, which means “baby goat,” comes to us by way of Uruguay and consists of succulent beef tenderloin, melted mozzarella, slices of Black Forest ham, crunchy bacon, green olives, hard boiled eggs and pickled peppers and mushrooms, known as escabeche.  There is somehow room for lettuce, tomato and mayo, too.  If your mouth isn’t watering, it means you’re already dead.  Tip: Buy one before you go out and keep it in the fridge.  Hot, cold, it doesn’t matter.  The next morning, this sandwich will be the best thing you’ll have put in your mouth in the last godforsaken 24 hours.  1400 W Street NW, Washington, DC. 202.448.9217

Photo: NedHardy.com

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About the Author

- Michael DeVito

Men's Lifestyle Editor. An appreciation of food runs deep in his Italian American heritage, but Michael’s adventures really began in earnest while living in South Korea, where he learned to see food as a means of exploring different cultures, meeting new people, and having fun while expanding his horizons.Michael earned his street cred snacking on Rocky Mountain oysters, fried chicken feet and his personal favorite--grilled octopus. Michael brings his deep and abiding love for beer, whiskey and barbecue, and is available for freelance writing, bachelorette parties and the occasional fight club. He accepts payment in fine cigars, motorcycles or Goodfellas quotes.